Hours a day are spent on the computer satisfying curiosities of mine about everything from how to make Italian nougat to the location of the last sighting of a giant squid. And every time I sit down at the computer to “look something up for a few minutes” the hours pass and I wonder if I spent my waking, breathing moments enhancing my being and using my finite time on earth wisely or not. Are my personal energies being used up by a machine or am I creating a small movement in the network I so actively participate in online?

When our eyes peer in to a screen, the vast energy from within us pours out. I wonder how much of that energy  is transfered to the machine itself, how much is diffused in to the surrounding area, and how much of that energy is being absorbed in to a network of human connection online? Thus far, by my understanding (and largely my intuitive feeling) every sense capability we have emits a specific energy that interacts with the atoms and energies surrounding us. This led me to a fixation on the last idea left hanging by Mc Luhan in his article The Medium is the Message,”…Our human senses, of which all media are extensions, are also fixed charges on our personal energies, and that they also configure the awareness and experience of each one of us…” (Page 8). He proceeds to quote Carl Jung’s  theory that Roman people during the heyday of the Roman Empire existed under a slave mentality because society operated in the total atmosphere of slavery. Nowadays the large portion of America that has a computer and accesses the internet on a daily basis, for work or pleasure, is beginning to structure the way we communicate with others through sites of information sharing. The way we consume is facilitated by online shopping. The music we listen to is accessed through online databases. The way we navigate in the physical world is pre-determined through computer navigation systems. Living in a city I’m not sure if I ever leave a network controlled by computers; A cell phone is on my person and fiber optic cables line my pathways on foot.

ALL TRANSMISSIONS GO

This is my spark, but remember: it is only my word at one moment in time.

At present I account for 1.5 people due to the fact I am carrying a child that is exactly halfway through its gestation within me. This being has eyes and receptors, toenails and the ability to hear everything I hear. All red-colored foods seem to fuel me well and my pigmentation darkens daily like ripening fruit skin.

The remaining five months has presented itself clearly as a period of exploring which ideas and beliefs serve me now for the purpose of both continual self-discovery and deciding what I would like to begin to plant in a being.

Every idea worth exploring through words is no longer reserved for the immediate sphere of people I interact with verbally. I invite the world to question me, to probe my train of thought, and to be a mirror for my current state of being.

Knowing my audience in this blog-sphere is not seeing this full face of mine while reading my thoughts, I feel devoid of facial features, skin, and physicality. I am a mind machine and I might be limitless in this web reaching world-wide.

“Should I go or should I stay now?  If I go there will be trouble! If I stay there will be double.”

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